I look like a mom.
And I hate it.
I got my hair cut last week. It had finally grown out, but it was time for an update. Some layers might be nice, I told my new stylist. Let’s freshen up my look for spring! I was starting to look like an aging hippie with my long, straight locks.
But when I looked in the mirror after it was over, all I could think was: I have a mom-do! I was devastated. I hurriedly pulled my hair up in a ponytail before anyone could see.
I’m being ridiculous, right? I mean, I am a mom. What’s so wrong with looking like one?
I refer you to the infamous Saturday Night Live skit on mom jeans.
See what I mean?
Being a mom is the very best thing that has ever happened to me. It’s bigger and better than anything else I’ve ever done or ever will do. It has filled my heart with a love I never thought imaginable.
But is it wrong to want to do it while maintaining some semblance of cool? I’ve vowed never to drive a minivan, no matter how many children I have. I try to make sure the waist on my jeans isn’t too high. I won’t wear sweatshirts with Disney characters. Fanny pack? Forget it.
It’s hard, though, to strike a balance. It seems like clothes are designed for either June Cleaver or Casey Anthony. There’s no middle ground. It’s also hard because moms are frazzled enough as it is. We work all day, we clean, we cook, we take care of the kids, we try to have relationships. Who has time to be trendy when sweatpants are so darn comfortable? Why get a manicure when it will just chip off washing dishes? It’s yet another thing to add to our to-do list.
And then there’s the guilt. How dare we spend this time making ourselves look good when we could be reading a story to the kids or out shopping for organic produce?
But I think I know why we try so hard. In our effort to be all things to all people, we kind of lose ourselves. This is one way to cling to who we are. Like fellow Mommyhood blogger Karan wrote last week: Is it really all about them? Can’t we have this one thing?
I say yes, we can. Just because we’re moms doesn’t mean we can’t be fashionable. It doesn’t mean we love our kids less because we refuse to wear mom jeans. I even think I saw an Oprah once where she said we’re better people when we take care of ourselves.
So, excuse me while I go cover my head with a baseball cap until the helmet look passes.