It’s a bird… it’s a plane… it’s SuperMommy

May 10, 2011 by Cara Bailey
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In honor of the Daily Mail’s Nerd Living blog, I’ve been thinking about some nerd aspects of my own life.

“But Cara, you’re so hip and fly, certainly you don’t have any nerdy tendencies.”

Uh, yeah, in my head “hip and fly” aren’t nerdy, therefore I must be one, right? Trust me, I have my nerd secrets. Ask me anything about “M*A*S*H” (book, TV series or movie); I watch Jeopardy every night; and I have a favorite Pantone color. NERD ALERT.

OK, so I’m not a McElhinny or a Maddy (they’re in a very loveable nerd class all on their own), but I can hold my own when it comes to some comic book characters. I’m a Batman girl, he is the best superhero of all. However, I’ve been thinking about what superhero we really need: A super mommy!

SuperMommy to the rescue!

First, I must say that all mothers are heroes. Every father is also a hero. Anyone that can give up their lives and nurture every need of a child is indeed a hero. But I’m talking cape-wearing, super power, fights-the-bad-guys hero.

The following is my own vision of SuperMommy. Feel free to add your own features. Perhaps we’ll create a new DC character. (DC > Marvel)

To be a superhero, you must have one eye-catching costume. In my mind, the SuperMommy costume would be low rise jeans or khakis. Leave the mom jeans at home, SuperMommy is super fashionable. The material would be resistant to any pudding fingers or juice box spills that happen over the day.

The top of the costume would be a simple tank/cardigan set, making it easy to change in a phone booth. Cardigan = regular mom. Tank = super mom (or Karan. She definitely has the best arms of the mommy bloggers). No spandex in this costume, only Spanx.

A cape is another must-have. This superhero’s cape just happens to be minky on one side with a soft satin on the other, to cuddle chilly babes and comfort those that are sleepy or hurt. Oh, and it would be shiny in flight.

Yes, in flight. SuperMommy can fly faster than a speeding bullet. How else would she get from work, to the store, to T-ball games in time? Or how could she leave five minutes before the first bell of a school that is 15 minutes away and still get the kids there in time?

The signature piece of the costume would be a bold necklace that would bounce mean looks back at bullies, leaving innocent little ones unscathed. It could also function as a nightlight in dark bedrooms.

SuperMommy’s utility belt would contain Band-Aids, suckers, string cheese, extra undies, a flask (for teething babies, of course), safety pins and a Sharpie.

Her hands could switch from epidermis to microfiber at the first sight of a mess. One spin around a room keeps it more spotless than a Mr. Clean commercial. Pet hair vaporizes under her steely glare.

Her eyes would have X-ray vision, to find out if her mancub really did spit out every penny he put in his mouth.

The SuperMommy-mobile would be a fuel-efficient, sexy yet practical crossover. Black, of course, with a built-in DVD player that plays only the most educational videos.

She could create gourmet meals for less than $10 and she’d be able to get everyone in her house to eat veggies.

I’m sure there are many mothers out there who do these things and more every day. I don’t come anywhere close to being a super mom, and sincerely admire those that do.

Now, get in on the fun! What feature would your SuperMommy have?

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5 Responses to “It’s a bird… it’s a plane… it’s SuperMommy”

  1. Katy BrownNo Gravatar says:

    You do know I look exactly like Mrs. Incredible, right? Well, let me rephrase that — I look like her from the neck-up; I USED to look like her from the neck down. I even had the boots….and the cape.

    BUT, if I could borrow a superpower for a day, I’m going Samantha Stevens. I want Bewitched abilities!

    • CaraNo Gravatar says:

      Katy, I was thinking about Samantha Stevens while writing this, but she’s a witch. Technically, are witches superheroes? I guess good witches are. Bad witches are certainly villains. Hmmm, maybe Brad could enlighten us on the differences in witches and heroes.

  2. bradmcNo Gravatar says:

    I would say it depends on whether they use their witchy powers to conduct or fight crime.

    If they do neither, such as Samantha Stevens or Sabrina the Teenage Witch or even Glenda the Good Witch, then they aren’t superheroes or villains.

    But the Scarlet Witch is a longtime member of the Avengers. And the White Witch is a member of the Legion of Superheroes. Then there’s the Justice League member Zatanna, who is described as a magician but who seems kind of witch-like to me.

  3. bradmcNo Gravatar says:

    My knowledge of reality is significantly less impressive.

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