Occupy Candy Bowl

October 19, 2011 by Cara Bailey
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For the past month, my kitchen has been the location of much yelling, name-calling and protests.

A half-naked baby has been sitting on a tarp below a shelf, holding signs that say “mean mommy”, “I represent 99 percent of kids” and “candy for all.”

Yes, candy for all. It’s not quite Occupy Wall Street, or even Occupy Sesame Street, but it is happening. It’s the time of year where parades fill our weekends and high fructose corn syrup and artificial dye fills our plastic jack-o-lanterns.

From September to December, candy, cookies and cakes are everywhere. Parades of the Fall Fest, Pumpkin and Homecoming variety fill the calendar before the real holiday season begins.

Now, I love a good parade. The marching bands, the floats, the flashy cars. A parade is good, old-fashioned entertainment. The kiddo gets to watch, wave and collect goodies until the fire trucks come through with sirens blazing and he refuses to loosen his death grip on my head.

Then we take those goodies home. And we nibble. And by nibble, I mean I eat them.

I’ve had 4,029 tootsie rolls since September and all the signs are there for more to come.

It’s a problem. There are many solutions: a) don’t go to the parade. b) go to the parade and leave the candy behind. c) don’t go trick-or-treating. d) make some other kids very happy by a large candy donation at the end of trick-or-treat. e) go do the fun stuff, bring the candy home, hide it in the cabinet from the kid so I can eat it all.

None of those sound great, and the mancub has a sixth sense about candy. He knows which cashier at the grocery store gives out suckers, and where she keeps them. He knows that a visit to the bank drive-thru means a dum-dum.

The plastic jack o' lantern: seat or foe?

 

I don’t make a habit of giving him candy, but everyone else does. I also don’t want him to think of me as a mean and stingy mom because I never gave him anything sweet. But the kid has got a serious sweet tooth. I found that out when I tried to use M&Ms to potty train him. He would sit, get his treat, then hop up and run down the hallway, naked and chocolatey.

So, back to the kitchen. He stands on the same corner of the kitchen as his pumpkin and stretches his arms up, wailing for “two. two.” Two bites. One piece of candy, torn in half. Smart momma. Or stupid momma.

I think I can reverse it. That one day he’ll forget about his candy. And I’m in a hole deeper than I realized. Occupy Kitchen. I’ve got to stay strong.

How do I do that, moms? How do you do fun things like trick-or-treat, parades, birthday parties and keep your kids from gorging themselves on candy?

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4 Responses to “Occupy Candy Bowl”

  1. TriciaNo Gravatar says:

    Oh I also hate this time of year. There is definitely candy everywhere. And I almost despise the little toys they get from these events as well. Just how many spider rings does one child need? I am the gatekeeper of candy at our house – it all goes into one large bowl. And I toss half of it immediately – into the car to go to work or into the trash (people at work love me!) Thanks for sharing.

    • Cara BaileyNo Gravatar says:

      I throw the little toys in the bottom of the toy box, where they break and then I throw them away. Why don’t I just throw them away from the start? I have no idea.

  2. CarrieNo Gravatar says:

    I too put all candy in 1 location, they can’t just get it themselves and must ask for it (and I have the ability to say NOOOOO). Then as I pass by it I grab some and toss it….they don’t notice me throwing it out as much when I do a little at a time over the course of a couple of days as they would if I did it all at once! HA HA If I’m lucky, it will be “oh look, it’s all gone!” If that’s not the case, then after about a week since said event leading to the overwhelming amount of candy & junk, I say “it’s old now” and toss what’s left! Mine wouldn’t dare want to eat something that is ‘old’ – ha! However, one day they will be older and learn that the shelf life of candy IS much more than a week or two….and then they will probably be a little upset with me! I will deal with that when the time comes and hopefully they will see it was for their good.

  3. ML@My3LittleBirdsNo Gravatar says:

    My 4 year old is the worst. He would eat candy all day long if I let him. I have to hide it and give him one piece at a time. If he knows it’s in the house he will constantly ask for it, though, so I eventually just throw it away.
    I heard that Stacy B. linked your post with us today…we’re happy to have you join us at My 3 Little Birds! Hope you’ll be back.

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