What better way to celebrate the spirit of April Fools’ Day than with legendary bastion of truthiness Sam Waterston making senior citizens fill their Depends as they quake in fear of deadly robot attack…..
Transcript (in case the laughter drowns the sound):
Sam Waterson: I’m Sam Waterston, of the popular TV series “Law & Order”. As a senior citizen, you’re probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people’s medicine for fuel. Well, now there’s a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of robot attack, with Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration. [ SUPER: Limited Benefits First Two Years ] You need to feel safe. And that’s harder and harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time.
[ show pie chart reading: "Cause of Death in Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58% ]
And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can’t break free.. because they’re made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don’t cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice. [ SUPER: "WARNING: Persons denying the existence of Robots may be Robots themselves. "] Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you – and they will.
So don’t cower under your afghan any longer, go out an prank someone before the metal ones decide to come for you!!
PS – Note to NBC: BRING BACK LAW & ORDER!!!!!!!!!!!!