I was looking in the mirror today — you know, to admire myself — and noticed I’m going a little gray around the temples. Well, I’m not likely to dye my hair. I’m not a big sissy boy like Osama bin Laden, after all. So I guess that’s the way it’s going to be.
There’s a way I can get through this psychologically, though.
Basically, it’s OK if it means I’m like Green Lantern.
I mean, like Green Lantern except without the fighter pilot background, the willpower, the ring that turns thoughts into green objects or the super-powered friends.
But with dignified white temples!
So, that’s something!
For years, Green Lantern was drawn that way. He had white temples that swooped around the side of his head. Why was this fashionable for a superhero? Well, he does wear white gloves, and there’s a sort of white frame around the lantern icon on his chest. Plus his eyeballs turn white in his mask. So his hair matched.
Except this doesn’t sound flattering: Eventually the comics guys explained that Green Lantern had actually been possessed by a really mean entity called Parallax, “spending years influencing him, causing him increasing self-doubt and fear, even causing his hair to turn white at the temples.”
(Note after original post: My wife just pointed out that’s basically what my two little girls are doing to me: years spent influencing, check; increasing self-doubt and fear, check; causing hair to turn white at the temples, check. Except as I recall, Parallax didn’t actually taunt Green Lantern.)
Anyhow, Green Lantern went on to go crazy, killed a bunch of other Green Lanterns, died a redeemed hero while saving the Earth from the Sun Eater, returned as a spirit of vengeance and then came back to life again as himself — minus his beautiful white streaks.
That’s a historically rough midlife crisis.
But it’s not going to happen to me. Like Hal Jordan when the power ring first found him, I’m not afraid.
Well, maybe a little.