I’m turning 25 tomorrow. I know it’s not a traditional milestone birthday, like 16 or 18 or 21, but I’ve found as Aug. 11 draws closer, I’m reflecting more and more on my first quarter-century.
Specifically, I’ve been thinking about the last 10 years and the incredible changes that have occurred. Life is a lot different than it was when I was 15. So if anyone’s headed to 2002 anytime soon, please print out this blog post and give it to the 15-year-old me.
Tips for the next decade, from your future self
by Zack Harold
1. Stop wearing denim shorts and buy some shirts with collars. You’re going to have an office job someday, so you need to get used to them. Plus, girls like a collared shirt sometimes. Also, stop combing your bangs straight down.
2. Try a little bit harder in Mrs. Dotson’s class.
3. Sorry, I never did start that rock band you were so excited about, and I don’t have that record label either. But hey, we’re not bald! Yet!
4. The computer engineering thing isn’t going to work out, either. Don’t worry, though. You won’t make as much money but your eventual career is going to be so much cooler.
5. Cherish your summer breaks. You won’t get those forever.
6. Invest all your allowance money in Apple Computers, then invent “Facebook.” Do not hire Mark Zuckerberg to program it for you.
7. Tell President Bush, Osama bin Laden is hiding in Pakistan.
8. Stop eating so many cheeseburgers. It’s going to be a lot more difficult to lose weight when you’re 25.
9. Good news: you’re going to meet a really awesome girl who is going to become your wife. Nope, not giving you her name. I don’t want to spoil the surprise.
10. You’re going to have a few rough patches as you finish high school and head into college, but it’s all going to be okay. You’re going to have a really cool life, filled with family and friends that love you. So stop worrying. And for goodness sakes, stop combing your bangs straight down.