I told you it was Big Monday, right? Well, WVU and Kansas will be doing pregame and postgame shows around Red Panda at the Coliseum tonight. I’m not alone here, but I’m infatuated with Ms. Panda and I act like a star-struck child when in her presence.
I need to know more about Red Panda. Is she a Big 12 act? Why wasn’t this a more contentious part of the settlement negotiations? What’s she like? I mean, when Matt Wells comes to her dressing room and is all, “Ms. Panda, five minutes…” is she on her Blackberry texting friends like Shaq and Caley Kuoco and Lil Wayne and Jay Bilas and snapping bubble gum and doesn’t even acknowledge Wells? Or is she sitting on her unicycle signing autographs with her feet for little children seven feet below?
I’m in trouble tonight. Her appearances are the one time of the year that the writers don’t leave press row at the end of the first half and hit the restroom or head to the press lounge for a coffee or a soda or a fourth helping of whatever free food is provided that game.
Halftime is the Panda’s stage, but halftime for a 9 p.m. start provides 15 priceless minutes for me to knock out a few inches on the first half toward a deadline finish. Decisions!